I first encountered drugs in secondary school. I did not see them in a demonic way, as society did. I treated amphetamine and marijuana as an inseparable part of having a good time, intended to provide a sense of relaxation and unwinding over the weekend. I spent time among people who had fun in a similar way, so I saw nothing wrong with it and did not consider it a threat to me personally.
To me, drug addicts and people with problems were those who used heroin, whom I saw at the railway station in Wrocław. I felt superior. After using drugs for more than a dozen years, which I considered recreational and harmless, I noticed that I had an anxiety disorder and symptoms of depression, neither of which I associated with using psychoactive substances.
Because of my anxiety, I consulted more than one psychiatrist. Without asking unnecessary questions, they prescribed antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication. By combining the medication prescribed by specialists with drugs, I created a cocktail of substances that drove me to the wall—to my first rock bottom.
In November 2013, I entered a rehabilitation facility, which I left after three and a half months. Since then—that is, for more than nine and a half years—I have been free from substances.
Besides, many people around me indiscriminately take benzodiazepines and function seemingly normally in society.
After leaving the facility, I joined the NA 12-Step fellowship, of which I still feel a part today. The facility and the Fellowship revealed to me the true nature of this insidious disease. They gave me the tools to live without substances, care for my family and try to be a responsible person. In a way, I knew what to do, but… I did not fully feel it.
Because I was not consistent and attentive to myself, I smoothly moved from substance addiction into work addiction. I worked 12–14 hours a day. By working so much, I convinced myself and my loved ones that everything was as it should be. After all, I was clean and did not use. I strongly believed that I was taking care of my family. Yet today, looking back, I can see that it made no difference to my loved ones. Whether I was absent from home because I was using or escaped into work beyond my body’s capabilities, I left a void in my family even while I was clean. Workaholism took my loved ones away from me, distanced me from my family, caused conflicts and, consequently, just like drugs, took me away from myself, preventing me from honestly facing who I was.
Several years ago, feeling pain and an undefined emptiness and wanting to deepen my knowledge of addiction, I found a school that I hoped would organize and expand my understanding of the disease. After completing the school, I still felt a constant sense of dissatisfaction. This led me to encounter Gestalt philosophy, which showed me where to truly look for the source of the suffering behind my past misfortunes, failures and disappointments in life.
Today I know that I have resources I would like to share with people who are tired of existing alongside fear, suffering, shame and isolation, and who feel trapped in a cage of their own thoughts, compulsions and obsessions.
I want to show a simple path to a healthy and fulfilling life, to a new way of facing whatever life brings. I want to offer people who recognize a part of themselves in my story the opportunity to live their own lives, no longer defined by fear and suffering. I offer my own approach to addiction, combining the knowledge I have acquired with my personal experience. It is an innovative perspective on addiction that may make a months-long stay at a rehabilitation facility unnecessary. I also offer support to people who have completed a program, are planning to enter one or are experiencing a relapse.
I warmly invite people struggling with, or even unaware of, their various addictions.
Contact
Artur Respondek
tel. 883 902 856