Can you guess who supports the great national education of young Polish women and men? You will find everything in the video below. Enjoy listening.
We would like to remind you that in a moment there will be the longest Christmas-and-winter-break holiday break in the history of the school—also a national one. Enjoy your rest, everyone!
Dear people involved in education: heads, principals, teachers, parents and… small, invisible household elves.
To help us understand what a student endures at school, I will give you a little knowledge test. Nothing serious. There will be no grades. Each of you completed the seventh grade of primary school or the first year of middle school. So there should be no problems. Right? After all, you remember everything, and this knowledge is useful in your everyday life. You do not leave home, of course, without knowing how lymph is formed!
So, shall we begin? Answer in your heads or out loud, whichever you prefer. You can write it down. This is knowledge for a twelve- or thirteen-year-old. Banalistically simple.
Consequences of Poland’s longitudinal extent.
Events of the Paleozoic era.
The formation of fold mountains.
That is geography. But there are many other subjects in the seventh grade.
How about chemistry?
Among the chemical reaction examples provided, indicate which are exoenergetic reactions and which are endoenergetic reactions. Here is an example: what kind of reaction is magnesium with hydrochloric acid? Too difficult? You have no idea what an exoenergetic reaction is? Seriously? Do you not remember it from school? And the decomposition reaction of manganate? Does that not ring any bells either? Maybe you did not apply yourselves? Maybe you are too lazy? Or perhaps unsystematic? Choose whichever explanation you like.
Now for something patriotic. This is knowledge about the beloved country that every Polish man and woman knows like the back of their hand.
Discuss the territorial changes concerning the Polish lands after the Congress of Vienna. And, instead of a biscuit with your coffee, explain why the Kingdom of Poland was called the Congress Kingdom or Congress Poland.
Nothing coming to mind? Perhaps you could characterize the main political factions of the Polish émigré community? Right after discussing over lunch the characteristics of the feuilleton as a journalistic genre, which can be found in a work by Umberto Eco. And while you are at it, remember the terms contained in this feuilleton, such as: headboard, autocrat, wisp, briquette and inlaid.
Had enough? There is also biology. You have to learn the names of all the bones. Yes. Because it will be useful? For what? When you go skiing, like Andrzej Duda, “Ski-President,” so to speak, and break your leg, you will know which bone you have injured. Sounds pointless? That is your unfavorable assessment. Because this is the explanation a teacher gives when asked about the practical application of knowledge of the names of the bones in the human body.
I have this dream in which I ask chemistry, physics or mathematics teachers to provide a logical and grammatical analysis of a subordinate relative clause in a complex sentence?
And I ask Polish-language teachers about the structure of the lymphatic system and to list the differences and similarities between the lymphatic and circulatory systems.
And we do not look anything up on the Internet—Uncle Google is bad. They are supposed to have all the knowledge in their heads. They do not? How can that be—did they not learn it at school? They went to school, after all. They forgot? This knowledge is not needed by them today? Oh, do not make me laugh! And if they do not answer immediately, it is a minus. A minus and a failing grade. And a risk of failing at midyear and at the end of the year. And the parents are called to school!
You may ask, then, how do these children move from one grade to the next, get good marks and pass exams?
Well, I will tell you. It is thanks to the little elves… Small, invisible household sprites who live in your homes. Yes. They are behind the strength of Polish national education.
The elves are different. Some sit with the children for several hours, do their homework with them, review the material and explain incomprehensible terms, first learning them themselves.
There are also unpleasant little dwarfs who shout at the child, insult them, take away their pleasures, punish them and use force to make the child learn something by heart.
Some do the work for the children. These elves write their tests for them, especially now during remote learning, create projects and solve assignments.
There are also clever, wealthy elves who take children to teachers for private tutoring. They do nothing except make sure the child is delivered to the lesson mano a mano and pay for it. Those are clever elves.
There are also ones like mine: lazy, undisciplined and unsystematic. Simply stupid, thinking that the child will learn at school from the teacher during the lesson.
Yes, teachers say that they also have children at school and manage to work themselves, and everything works for them. But I believe they have better elves through connections at the ministry, and that is the only reason everything is so easy for them and they can handle it all. I would like to have such an elf. If you know where they hand them out, or how to lure one home, let me know.
And so our national remote and in-person education keeps turning, based on the slave labor of invisible sprites!
And that is all I wanted to tell you about education. Especially those who see no problems and believe that everything is perfectly fine. If your elves rebel, you will see how fine everything will be.
Best regards.