The film addresses topics that we do not analyze or subject to substantive discussion. It talks about the family: its condition and its degradation. It speaks of rejecting those for whom we would give our own blood. Our children.
Do you remember Andersen’s fairy tale about “The Ugly Duckling”? Most people remember the moral perfectly well. At the end of the story, the ugly creature turns into a beautiful swan and, admired by everyone, lives happily ever after among its own kind, loved and accepted. But how does this fairy tale begin?
Mother Duck sat on her eggs. When the time came for the ducklings to hatch, one egg, different and larger than the others, remained silent and hard as a rock. Mother Duck was not worried, but when a young bird finally emerged from it, she cried out in surprise: “What an ugly creature!” None of the animals in the yard accepted it. At first, the mother duck tried to defend it, but eventually she too decided it would be better if it went out into the world.
The ugly duckling takes the negative opinion of it as an objective and impartial assessment. Although it is merely the result of cruelty, misunderstanding or ignorance, it deeply believes that it is ugly. And with this conviction it goes out into the world. In the fairy tale, the duckling finds its own kind and transforms into a beautiful bird. In the film, the protagonist finds an online Suicide Room that accepts him.
Once I asked an experienced kindergarten teacher what advice she would give parents taking their child to kindergarten. I thought I would hear some standard answer about making sure the children being dropped off had spare clothes and a change of shoes. Instead, I heard a sentence that made a strong impression on me. “It would be best if parents accepted their children,” said the woman, who each year welcomed little ones who seemed so sweet that it was impossible not to accept them.
Parents expect certain character traits from their children. Sometimes these must conform to hallowed tradition or to stereotypical beliefs about what a boy should be like and what a girl should be like. In addition, culture precisely defines what is supposed to determine success or excellence in life. We know the list by heart and impose it on our children: languages, computers, attractive extracurricular activities, good clothes, tutoring, and sometimes a specific profession. All this means that ugly ducklings, even if they possess the potential of the most magnificent swan, will live with the conviction that they are defective if they fail to meet their parents’ expectations.
“Suicide Room” is a film that touches on these problems without excessive exaltation. It is not a film about the bad internet. But it addresses the problem of cyberbullying: forms of public ridicule that we adults practice on various forums. It is not the Suicide Room that is frightening in this film, but an ordinary forum where the protagonist’s classmates ridicule him. He is different, so they pluck and peck at him, like the animals that attacked the ugly duckling in the fairy tale.
This film is worth watching. And it would be good if parents watched it. In order to become familiar with the subject, take a closer look, try to understand, avoid stereotypes, and accept their child.
Jan Komasa’s film “Suicide Room” will be screened at Forum cinema until 29 March. Online ticket reservations: www.kino.boleslawiec.pl.
Grażyna Hanaf