Elka is everywoman. Like in a Whitney Houston song performed after a dozen beers in a karaoke bar. Because Elka drinks. And then vomits. She gets blind drunk and her film runs out. In short, she degrades herself terribly. She jumps on benches and takes part in “those funny contests under the heading when did you have your last fuck.” And she often ends up rubbing against some random young guy.
And the young guy is usually a sap, and Elka likes to ride the sap. That is why she was created. She was meant to lay into men. All those “flaccid, saccharine and ass-covering” ones. Because a guy, according to Elka, has to have balls, not be some little pussy. He is supposed to come at night, open the door together with its frame and burst into the flat. “Even if dirty, even if wrecked, smeared with grime, reeking or with blood on his shirt...”
Elka herself does not feel better or worse than the sap. Elka simply exists and drinks. And she has layers, like an onion. Besides, she is romantic and reckless. She calls herself “an office hen” and introduces herself against the backdrop of her friends. “Not such a whiner as God-help-us. Not such a snoop as Karolina. Not such an itch as Jadwinia. And probably not such a rag as me.”
It is difficult not to like Elka, but at first one feels aversion. Especially when she is hungover from the day before and nursing a hangover, which is most of her literary life. Elka has something unforgettable about her, as well as strength. Some female readers even took her as an example. Like her, they pounded their fists on the table and told their life partners and bad situations to fuck off… get away quickly. And it worked. That is why they wrote thank-you notes. They wrote to Elka, although the emails reached the author Jacek Pałka. He did not reply, because he had created Elka, rather than pretending to be Elka. The truth is that everyone expected a woman at the awards ceremony. Maria Czubaszek, a juror in the absurd and offbeat category, did too. Jacek’s appearance on stage surprised her enormously. But she decided it was even better this way, because she had always been drawn to male literature anyway.
“elka-gra” also has venerable satirical roots and a distinguished family. The blog’s title was taken from the satirical programme “Not Only for Eagles,” broadcast on Polish Radio Three in the late 1980s. Monika Olejnik played Elka, a contestant on a quiz show, in the programme, while Wojciech Mann was the stupid audience.
What is outstanding about Elka (insert the name of whatever alcohol you consider the finest) is the language. Brilliant, rich, funny, full of meaning, cultural contexts, and excellent, fresh neologisms that grab you by the tongue. You read “elka-gra” as though you were drinking. And you cannot shake the feeling that it was written by someone who, as my friend says about attractive men, watched the same bedtime cartoons. Visit Elka. And stay in touch with her.
(information: Grażyna Hanaf; photo: Michał Pałka)