Before speaking with Agnieszka Stein, we can ask ourselves several questions suggested by the author in her book:
- Where did you learn various things about sex and sexuality?
- What experiences of your own do you remember?
- What influenced your development and made you the people you are today?
- Do you know what experiences you want for your children, and what you would like to avoid or are afraid of?
- Do you know what your partner thinks about this?
Agnieszka Stein:
New things cause concern. A conversation with a child about sexuality is one of them.
We do not know how to talk with children about sexuality.
In our culture, there is a belief that sexuality is dangerous.
It is now somewhat the case that children know more about sexuality than adults, but that does not mean they do not need support.
Knowledge about sexuality is a living field of knowledge. It is changing greatly now.
Sex education takes place whether we want it to or not. We constantly pass on patterns of behavior and reactions to children.
Teachers show their attitude toward sexuality when teaching children, talking with them, commenting and dressing.
Parents think that children learn most about life at school. They learn it elsewhere, including on the Internet.
Children most need knowledge about how to choose information.
A parent cannot cover a child’s eyes on the street.
Children should be treated with dignity. This is another human being, with their own dignity and agency.
Before the conversation, we also recall our piece from nine years ago, Condom in a Backpack. In it, several teenagers from Bolesławiec, representing different schools and backgrounds, shared their thoughts and opinions with us about their own or their friends’ sexual initiation. They talked about why they do not discuss sex with their parents and where they obtain information about protecting themselves against an unwanted pregnancy.
Agnieszka Stein is the author of a book about the development of sexuality and children’s education in this area. Rooted in the philosophy of attachment parenting, attachment theory and Nonviolent Communication, and based on the latest scientific findings, it is free from the burden of outdated and often harmful knowledge. It is a book in which human sexuality is not separated from the rest of life, written with respect for the child’s intimacy and concern for their optimal development. It is a valuable source of reliable knowledge about human development and shows how treating a child with respect and empathy will help them enter adulthood.
Agnieszka Stein’s latest project is the Parent Workbook—a distinctive publication that can be used at one’s own pace to work on various issues related to parenting.
