A festival for young people and adults with disabilities was held on Tuesday, June 16, at the II Community Self-Help Center, where the Circle for Helping Children has its headquarters. Grilled sausages, homemade cakes and shared activities are the picture that always appears in the media. It says nothing about reality. Everyday life is a struggle for people with disabilities to function normally in society and to receive the assistance due from local authorities and the state.
Round 1 – Not Letting Them Be Shut Away at Home
The circle’s members fought long battles for a place for their children. The most difficult task was finding premises and someone sympathetic within the local authorities who would understand that a person with a disability has the same right to live in society as able-bodied citizens.
Their children were growing up, and there was a fear that when their schooling ended, they would once again become stuck at home, with nowhere to go. They had already grown accustomed to a normal life for them and learned to function outside the home. Being shut away there again would have been an incomprehensible punishment.
Nine years ago, when the circle was seeking space in a kindergarten on Staszica Street, local residents objected. – Someone said they did not want all the city’s rejects on Staszica – the parents recall. – It was terrible how they treated us. I remember that meeting with the residents, that hostility – says Barbara Jóźwik. – We all cried – she adds.
She cried with them, too: Krystyna Boratyńska. She helped them the most. She and Mayor Józef Burniak. They were two people who understood their needs.
The circle’s chairman became Michała Wojdyła. – We looked for a man – the mothers say. – No one wanted to listen to us women.
Wojdyła is the stepfather of Bogusia, who has a disability. He says: – I did not look at political options or at which party someone belonged to. I would have accepted money for my child even from the devil. They accused me of the fact that Józef Burniak was from the left, a communist. To me, he was a man who helped us. He gave us good premises, because earlier they had wanted to put us in a basement. They were surprised that we were not grateful for just anything, but were looking for luxuries. We were not looking for luxuries, but a normal place for our children.
Michał Wojdyła never gave up. He recalls the beginnings of his work, when he searched throughout the county for children with disabilities so he could take them to a congress organized by the Diocese of Legnica. – I went from cottage to cottage – he says. – I was looking for children.
People with intellectual disabilities were confined within four walls. They depended solely on their parents’ care. Forgotten by the state.
Round 2 – Overcoming Distrust
Elżbieta Ziembikiewicz, Bogusia’s mother, who has a disability, remembers when he came to her as well. – I am an aware, educated woman – she recalls. – But when I saw a man who wanted, selflessly, to help my child and do something specifically for her, I could not believe it. The complexes and deep sense of rejection I experienced from all sides made me ask myself: who is this man who cares about my child when nobody else does? I could not trust someone reaching out a helping hand to me.
Together with friends, mothers of children who are now adults, she talks about people’s attitude toward those with intellectual disabilities. During a collection for a trip, she heard someone in the crowd say: Why take idiots abroad? Wouldn’t it be better to make them a bonfire, fry sausages and show everything on television? – That is precisely why they have to be taken, because they are stupid – Elżbieta said then. – You can sit in front of the television and imagine what it is like somewhere far away. They cannot do that. They have to cross the distance and reach that place so they can understand that something shown on television actually exists.
On another occasion, Barbara Jóźwik, the circle’s vice-chairwoman, was walking during the holidays with other mothers and their children with disabilities. It was summer; they talked to one another and laughed loudly. One of them was pushing a girl with cerebral palsy in a wheelchair. A passerby said aloud disapprovingly: – How can they laugh when they have such sick children?
Round 3 – Accepting What Is Unusual
For twenty years, Elżbieta Ziembikiewicz asked herself why something like this had happened to her and her daughter. – We parents wait a long time for a miracle and look for miraculous therapies – Elżbieta says. – Until the moment comes when we accept, though not everyone does, our child as they are, and are grateful for what we have. Then we can look for other solutions.
Normal attitudes among parents toward their children with disabilities were taught by the late Grażyna Kryś, founder of special-needs classes in Bolesławiec. She showed them that there are countries where people with intellectual disabilities are treated like other people with disabilities. Nobody is afraid of them, disgusted by them or mocks them.
She organized a trip abroad for them. In Cannes, France, the entire group decided to enter the famous Planet Hollywood restaurant, founded by Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone. The parents feared that a group of visibly impaired children would be asked to leave such a famous place. But nothing of the sort happened. Everyone was invited inside and warmly welcomed, and the only questions asked were: how can we help? Then Elżbieta Ziembikiewicz understood that normality was possible for her child.
All the parents from the Circle for Helping Children with Intellectual Disabilities wanted to thank the donors who donated 1% of their tax for their children. They were able to do so thanks to the help of Stowarzyszenia Ziemia Bolesławiecka. IstotneInformacje.pl will soon publish the stories of children with disabilities and their families.
(GH report)