We very often hear this statement, yet not everyone realizes what a cult is, how someone can become involved with one, and what the consequences may be. This subject arouses greater interest or concern especially during the holiday season. Meanwhile, anyone can become involved with a cult, regardless of their intelligence or education, and this can happen all year round.
Destructive groups should be considered cults if they:
- have a totalitarian character. Group leaders assign themselves absolute authority and the right to interfere in every area of their members’ lives, even the most intimate ones
- recruit new members by resorting to all kinds of deceit and lies, concealing important information about the group’s activities, goals and doctrine
- make participants psychologically and economically dependent through (psycho)manipulation techniques—they negatively affect the initiate’s psychological development and social relationships, such as severing ties with loved ones or abandoning work or studies
- have a cult-like character in the broad sense, not necessarily a religious one. This may be a cult of personality, energy, health, money, success, and so on
- create a sharp division of reality into what is “good,” meaning associated with the group, and what is “threatening,” referring to the outside world—a black-and-white view of reality
- instill in their members a belief in the movement’s elitism and an aversion to ideological dialogue.
The fulfillment of the above criteria by a group may constitute grounds for classifying it as a destructive group that potentially poses a threat to the individual and society.
Recruitment during the holidays
Someone can become involved with a cult at any time of year. At a training trip, in a psychologist’s office, at a coaching meeting, or even in a prayer group operating at a parish.
During a break, young people have more freedom, leisure and time than during the school year. At this time, there are numerous concerts and charitable campaigns, among other events. It may seem that the holiday period encourages increased cult activity. This is not entirely true. These groups operate practically all year round, organizing various training sessions, workshops, symposiums, language courses and camps. Perhaps representatives of such communities are more noticeable during the holidays because they take to the streets of large cities with their teachings and often dynamic lifestyles, attracting the interest of wider circles of society and encouraging an exchange of views on religion, morality, politics and economics, with the longer-term aim of getting people to attend a meeting and possibly join the group.
What about intelligence and education?
Anyone can become involved with a cult, regardless of their intelligence or education. We all have unmet needs that may coincide with an offer proposed by a particular group or person. We all also experience crises, and at such times we are more susceptible to the influence of such groups.
Indicators whose appearance should become a warning signal for parents or friends of people endangered by the influence of a destructive group/cult:
- a sudden, marked change in personality
- appearing absent-minded or mentally elsewhere
- becoming withdrawn and secretive
- using a new language—the cult’s jargon
- a new way of eating
- new social contacts
- loss of a sense of humor
- loss of the ability to view things critically
- excessive criticism
- adopting an aggressive defensive attitude
- changes in natural facial expressions
- loss of the ability to think abstractly and failure to use metaphors, loss of fluency and a change in the person’s previous way of formulating thoughts
- limited ability to form intimate relationships
- a lack of feelings and emotional coldness in relationships with family and friends
- physical changes—sudden weight loss or gain caused by an inappropriate diet, insomnia or exhaustion
- neurotic or psychotic behavior, suicidal tendencies
- unusual excitement and vitality
- fascination with new literature.
What should you do if someone close to you may be in contact with a cult?
Do not panic. Your actions must be carefully considered. If you allow your behavior to be dictated by emotions, you will lose. Properly identify the phenomenon. If someone close to you has genuinely met new people and you suspect they are a cult, do not start an argument; instead, find out something about them. Do not express any judgments or opinions. Simply ask questions and listen to the answers. Keep your conclusions to yourself.
Try not to negatively affect your contact with the cult member. Be kind, do not shout, and try not to argue. The cult will try to convince your loved one that you do not love them and that only the cult members do. Try to communicate without arguments and maintain good contact. Under no circumstances should you argue with them about their group. Keep repeating that you love them and will not abandon them, regardless of what they say or do.
Gather information. Above all, you must understand the problem. Find out whom your loved one is meeting. Maintain a friendly tone. First ask yourself: What is actually happening in my home? What kind of group is this, and who founded it and why? Can a person really be influenced this much? How did they do this to my loved one? What should I do in this situation? You may obtain some of this information from your loved one if you ask questions in a friendly manner. You can find answers to other questions at a cult information center.
Write down all the addresses and telephone numbers of the people your loved one meets. Also record the titles of new books and booklets they bring home. Do this discreetly. Do not tell them either about your suspicions or about the actions you have taken. Read books critical of the group. Check whether there are websites run by former group members. Seek contact with former members and people in a situation similar to yours.
Together, we can do more! Contact a cult information center as soon as possible. Such centers can be found in every larger city in Poland. The people working there will know how to advise you or, if necessary, whom to refer you to.
Do not give the cult member any money. Many cults operate on the principle of accusing the family and taking money from it. All the money you give the cult member will be used for the group’s needs.
Be prepared for changes in your life. Experience shows that alongside religious reasons for joining a cult, there are always non-religious ones as well, such as atmosphere and emotions. Although this is undoubtedly very painful for you, your loved one may have received something in the cult that they did not experience in their family. It may be worthwhile to seek family therapy in order to improve family relations and learn better ways of communicating. This does not have to be done only when family relations are catastrophically bad; it can be done simply to improve them. Things can always get better. If your loved one notices positive changes in the family, this may affect them very positively.
Do not lose hope. As long as your loved one is alive, there is a chance that they will leave the cult. Family bonds are stronger than those created by a cult. Your task is to prepare your loved one and make it easier for them to return to normal life.
More information is available on the police website.