Resentment is an emotion... one that is, incidentally, very strong and is triggered by an inferiority complex. It manifests itself as psychological discomfort. A resentful person feels hostility toward someone they envy. So what is the difference between jealousy and resentment? In an adult, resentment is generally the result of arrested emotional development. The best solution to this kind of problem is conversation and contact with third parties. If family and friends are unable to help effectively, therapy may prove necessary, and it may last a long time. A resentful person is very reluctant to accept help, often denying that they need it at all.

Jealousy is also an emotion that causes frustration. The main difference lies in the way one approaches another person. Jealous people do not take hostile action. They merely want to possess a given object or find themselves in the situation of the person they envy. Jealousy can have a positive, motivating and competitive effect.

Of course, the concepts above can be defined in many ways. This is my interpretation, based on the empiricism of life.

Now that I have explained the individual concepts and the differences between them, I will describe behavioral patterns using examples drawn from life—examples that I received by e-mail.

I had a lot of unpleasant experiences at work because of Radosław’s frequent phone calls. He could call a dozen or more times. Agnieszka, my understanding boss, eventually lost patience and categorically banned private conversations on the company phone. I was forced to buy a mobile phone, which I had deliberately not had until then. Now Radosław could reach me at any time. At noon, I saw a long list of missed calls on the phone’s screen and several text messages accusing me: “You cheated on me, you deceived me.” At lunchtime, I would lock myself in the restroom and call him back. My friend Angela took me aside. “It’s high time you ended this marriage,” she whispered. “You are a shadow of a woman. I think Radosław’s condition has deteriorated and he may hurt you.”

Jealousy or resentment? Judging by the way Radosław acts—destructively toward the relationship—we can speak of more than simple jealousy. Jealousy with a hidden motive, which I suspect is unconscious, to harm his partner. How can one cope in such difficult moments? Sometimes it is enough to sit down and talk with one’s partner. At times, we also provide too many reasons for jealousy and inappropriate treatment.

Dear readers, remember one thing: it is always worth talking, because this is a fundamental element of communication between people. In this way, we can build strong bonds, emotions and a sense of community. Let us not hide our thoughts—especially from our partner.

psychopedagogue from Bolesławiec, socio-therapist, trainer
Dawid Karol Kołodziej
https://psychopedagog.eu