El Wafi Hanaf – Aicha’s father – regularly visits his family in Bolesławiec. Previously, he knew Europeans from his work (he works as a local guide in Fez, showing foreigners around the historic part of the city), and their culture from his studies (he graduated in German literature from the University of Fez). He learned about all secular holidays, from Women’s Day to Father’s Day, after marrying a Polish woman. Now he is waiting for his fourteen-month-old daughter to grow enough to recite a poem and give him a handmade card on Father’s Day.
“Every day in Morocco is a father’s day,” says El Wafi Hanaf. The father is the head of the family who makes the most important decisions. When he returns home from work, he is treated in a special way. He is the one who provides for his wife and children.
The Quran, Islam’s holy book, contains a passage about the importance of showing respect to one’s parents. The care and love with which Muslims treat their parents allows them to attain paradise after death. The Quran also teaches that mothers should be cared for three times more than fathers. The mother is the source of life.
A good Muslim father must above all be responsible for his family and its well-being. His children must be well dressed and fed. The father is also his family’s representative in the community where they live. He must maintain his moral standards, avoid harming others and work to build a good reputation. The way the father is perceived is the way the entire family will be perceived. His task is to teach the child good behavior toward the community.
When a child does something wrong that is forbidden by the group, the father punishes the child publicly. It is not always a slap; most often, it is a verbal reprimand. In this way, the father shows that he cares about the community’s welfare and that his children will respect it. It is an investment in the child’s future. Social care in Morocco consists of the care that family members and neighbors provide for one another. The community also partly takes over child-rearing responsibilities. In Morocco, every adult has the right to admonish a child when they are doing something wrong or dangerous.
In Morocco, fathers have their own special days for caring for their children. Today, this is Saturday afternoon and Sunday; in the past, it was Friday, the day set aside for prayer in Islam. Traditionally, a father would take his son to the mosque and then to the market to teach him the art of bargaining and shopping. Today, Moroccan fathers take their daughters and sons on picnics, to swimming pools and parks. Sunday afternoons belong to fathers and children. They run with them, play various games and come up with new activities.
During the day on weekdays, the mother takes care of the children; evenings belong to the father. El Wafi Hanaf believes that it is harder to be a father in Europe. Observing other fathers from Poland, he notices that more is expected of them, especially when it comes to caring for a child. He is getting used to the new conditions but is surprised by each new expectation. He speaks briefly about himself as a father: “I love my little daughter more than anything. She is part of my body, my soul and my heart. I am proud to be her Arab father.”
Dad Wafi sends his warmest wishes to all European fathers on their special day.
Grażyna Hanaf – Aicha’s mother and El Wafi Hanaf’s wife.