I wondered for a long time whether to write anything about this march. But when I saw the photographs from the event, I was outraged. The slogans carried by the people and the very idea behind the march moved me deeply. Then I read a sentence in a book by Jacek Walkiewicz with which I completely agree: "There is no decent way to commit indecency." I want to point out this indecency and say a clear, resolute NO.
A friend of mine is a talented, artistic soul. She is a young woman deeply devoted to her family. In a conversation with me, she says that her sister has recently been very unpleasant to their mother. It upsets her because she loves her mother very much. She is saddened. My friend is a lesbian. She confides this to me because I do not judge her and am open to her difference. No one at home knows about her. The girl cannot share with her beloved mother who she is.
Ladies and gentlemen taking part in this march, you are saying to this very young woman: you are inferior, we do not want you, we exclude you, get out of our respectable life, our holy family. You are not worthy of having one. We are defending ourselves against you and people like you, abnormal people. We will never allow you to start a family. We will protest against you until the end, with force and holy indignation. We do not care that you will suffer, that we are condemning you to a life in hiding and to denying who you are.
Ladies and gentlemen who marched in this event, you have a great gift: your family. You set an example of how, in times of free choice, one can choose a lasting relationship. And you know perfectly well that it is not easy; one has to make an effort and make many difficult choices. Not everyone can manage it. Not everyone can create a family and maintain it. Take responsibility for it. That is why it is worthy of respect and admiration when a couple stays together for ten, twenty or thirty years.
Set an example for others, share your gift, but do it with love. Do not exclude or label others; do not call yourselves the only normal people, because you are depriving yourselves of something very valuable: love that knows neither norms nor boundaries.
Family has never been, is not and never will be a hermetic construct created only for the chosen few. The Holy Family consisted of an elderly man, a very young teenage woman and an adopted child who, in truth, did not belong to its earthly parents. The child was different, unconventional and unaccepted by the community.
A family is two strangers who decide to be together. Some will have children, others will not. Still others will take in a dog or cat and call it a family member. Every day, we welcome friends into our families and treat them as our loved ones. Family is a broad concept; the more love we want to welcome into our lives, the wider we must open our family arms.
Do not clench your hands into fists, turn your backs or humiliate those who do not have, cannot have or are unable to create a family. You do not have to. You already have so much; I would say you have more. Share it. Show that family does not hurt or exclude, but loves everyone as they are.
Grażyna Hanaf