There are many stories about fighting cancer, but someone else, someone far away, is always the one who is ill. Perhaps we will take the story of our neighbour, a woman from Bolesławiec, to heart and decide to get ourselves examined.
Nothing in her story about cancer was as I expected it to be. Above all, there was no drama or tragedy. But that does not mean it was not a heroic account of illness and its course.
Grażyna had breast cancer and underwent surgery less than a year ago. She lives in Bolesławiec. She told me that all her female colleagues from work only got themselves examined after she told them about her illness. Before that, they had not thought about it. One of them has already undergone a mastectomy.
Grażyna went to Stomadent for a mammogram because she decided she was at an age when she ought to undergo a thorough examination. The result was unequivocal. There was a tumour. She was referred to the oncology ward in Wrocław. She was given a telephone number so she could learn the details. She read the diagnostic report once more and said to herself: “There is cancer. And what am I supposed to do with it? I need to call and find out.” She did not despair. She did not break down. She acted. Her husband, whom she told about the result, replied: “Are you joking?”. She was serious.
Grażyna worked at Bader and took leave. A colleague, who by now has also undergone a mastectomy, threw her arms around her neck. She pushed her away so that the woman hit herself against a machine. Although she apologised later, she did not want sympathy. She had no intention of dying. Today, she is the one supporting that colleague. When she listens to her complaints about how difficult chemotherapy is and her declarations that she cannot take another treatment, she responds simply: “In that case, do not fight, lie down in bed and die. Why waste the doctors’ time?”
The story of Grażyna could of course be written in tragic colours. If not for a routine mammogram a year earlier, we probably would not have met on a Saturday, the first warm day of that spring. The tumour was not visible. Grażyna had regular examinations and also examined her breasts. Even after visiting her gynaecologist with the mammogram, the doctor could not feel anything by hand during the examination. The tumour was so deep that it could have continued growing quietly and without symptoms in the breast until it reached a size noticeable to the naked eye. In such cases, one often hears: “I always felt healthy; nothing was wrong with me. And now I have one month left to live.”
Tragedy does not suit Grażyna. One could write about her: I had cancer, but I no longer remember it. But who would read such a story? When I spoke with Monika Podwysocka, an Amazon posing for the exhibition “More Than One with One”, I learned about her conversation with another female journalist. That journalist was not sure whether her editor would publish the interview, because energetic, happy women without breasts were not dramatic enough. Monika wanted to suggest that she place a black mourning ribbon in every other photograph…
Drama sells very well in the media. It can hold a viewer’s attention for a moment and arouse fear of illness. Does it help anyone? No. It merely makes people think stereotypically and pessimistically about an illness in which optimism and strength of spirit are most important.
Grażyna saw many sick women during her treatment. They cried and broke down; their post-chemotherapy ailments were very unpleasant. Their legs swelled, and for several days after the infusion they could not get out of bed or take a step. Grażyna is grateful that she avoided this: “Everyone is different; I went through chemotherapy with almost no side effects.” The only thing that irritated her was the patients’ pessimism and the way they frightened one another. “I met a woman who had not even been connected to the drip yet, but was already complaining about how bad she would feel later and already worrying about the future,” Grażyna says.
She does not consider herself a heroine, although she did, after all, beat cancer. From beginning to end, she remained in control of the illness and did not allow fear to defeat her, despite feeling it. Today, everyone reminds her that less than a year ago she underwent serious surgery. She forgets.
She met with me because she wanted to say that even such a serious illness can be viewed in a completely different way. More courageously. She believes that each of us is different and that cancer should not be approached as the greatest misfortune. We should get examined so that it does not take us by surprise, and when it does happen, do something about it.
Grażyna Hanaf