Bad Mother’s Day. Could We Celebrate It?

There is only one mother, and we must love her as such no matter what. Do you know that saying? And the commandment: “Honor your father and your mother”? An acquaintance, a deeply religious man, used the phrase “in a blessed state” when speaking about his pregnant wife. Will his wife become a saintly mother?

Have you ever wondered, exhausted after giving birth, whether Mary shouted at Jesus? Whether she had had enough of his crying, getting up at night, and being constantly at her beck and call?

The answer came by itself when I delved into human history. And it was: no. Assuming that Jesus was a historical figure and was born 2,000 years ago, Mary had an entire network of women to help her: sisters, aunts, grandmothers, great-grandmothers and great-great-grandmothers. (Remember that Mary gave birth to Jesus at the age of 12, so her mother could have been 24, her grandmother 36, and her great-grandmother 48.)

In those days, children belonged to everyone. And mothers took advantage of that. It turns out that in other cultures, mothers were not expected to care for a child 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, as mothers are expected to do in Poland, where some people already have one foot in paradise, while women have both in hell. They are forced to carry unwanted pregnancies to term and give birth to children they cannot love.

In Poland, should we celebrate only the day of the “good mother”—the stereotypical mother: devoted to her child, sacrificing herself for the child and loving them unbelievably? Can we also celebrate the day of Madzia’s mother from Sosnowiec?

Or that of 26-year-old Magdalena C., who in Poznań in 2021 stabbed her daughter in the heart at least three times. Three-year-old Zuzia died in hospital. Onet reported that the direct reason the mother killed the child was allegedly fear for the child’s future and a lack of money. Or the 17-year-old from the Łódź region who killed her baby after giving birth, having concealed the pregnancy from her father and from her partner, who was seven years older. Does she deserve to receive Mother’s Day wishes? After all, she became a mother.

Do these mothers deserve to celebrate? Chocolates? Spring tulips? Because, after all, the “fourth” commandment says: “Honor your father and your mother.”

Would you send Mother’s Day wishes to Anita W. from Chodzież (Greater Poland Voivodeship), who strangled her two-year-old son? As the judge pointed out, when Anita W. gave birth, she was a very young girl who, through no fault of her own, was completely unprepared for parenthood and for taking responsibility even for herself, let alone for a child.

For nine months, all these mothers had also been in a “blessed state.” Perhaps they even believed what other women and people speaking from the pulpit told them: that motherhood is wonderful and turns a woman into an angel. Then reality arrived, and life showed that no one is a saint. Mothers included.

That is why I ask: would you celebrate Bad Mother’s Day?