Sparrows are chirping that Piotr Roman is tired of every electoral skirmish involving him resembling a fight between Pudzian and Popek; he has had enough of knockouts in the first round. As the editorial office of An Unbelievable News Story has learned, the mayor longs for the days when there was someone to fight. “He still fondly remembers that election advertisement with the golden door handle and Madonna’s song ‘Material Girl’. After all, it helped him defeat Józef Burniak,” people close to the mayor say. “And then he sighs: those were the days...”
Apparently, former President of the Republic of Poland Lech Wałęsa, known for inspiring great people to perform great deeds, persuaded the Bolesławiec official to find himself a worthy rival. (That was supposedly the case with Donald Trump; it is commonly known that without the inspiration provided by the history of the former Solidarity leader, The Donald would have had no chance in the election.) Roman is said to have heard the following from the legend of “S”: “Piotrek, I’m telling you, find yourself a better competitor.”
Our sources report that the mayor took Wałęsa’s advice to heart, and Reni Jusis’s song “Kiedyś cię znajdę” (“I’ll Find You Someday”) has become the unofficial anthem of the municipal office. The search continues. There are several guidelines: Piotr Roman’s new competitor should have an “explosive character” like Andrzej Janusz of Sumptuastic, a flair for business like Stanisław “Pancerny” Chwojnicki, and a nose for finding gold in sofas like Wiesław Ogrodnik.
(this is an unbelievable news story; the situation described is not real)